GIANT TURTLE
Slow Dance--the Secret Life of Turtles
  
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"My husband and I live pretty quiet lives, what with kelp to prepare ten times a day and all that. Plus, we turtles live pretty long lives. As my great great grandmother Betty used to say, 'Agnes, there's no point in rushing around when you're going to live for 150 years. Take it slow and enjoy life'. Well taking it slow is something we turtles understand. I mean, look what happened to that crazy rabbit. A life of running around and high blood pressure and boom, he was gone in no time. Never liked him much, but I'm not one to criticize. He did leave behind 35 kids...poor dears.
'Anyway, don't get the wrong idea. Roy and I love our lives. We recently got dial-up internet service and let me tell you that there are things to learn about out there, if you have the patience to wait. Who knew that Turtle Wax was for cars? Not my cousin Emma, that's for sure. What was she thinking? Anyway, last year, we got one of those pop-up ads about dance lessons. Back in the day, Roy and I could really cut some rug. Oh, we were quite the item doing the real high-spirited numbers like the fox trot. We're a little older now and our knees aren't what they used to be. So we answered the ad and discovered slow-dancing! Now, when we go out, we get all gussied up in our best, do a few turns around the floor and have a grand time.
'A fella at Comcast saw us down at the Five Spot and asked us if we would mind posing for some of the folks up in Chestnut Hill. We said, 'Sure, we got time'. Those architects at MGA dolled us up (do you believe how hard those poor darlings work?), bought me some new jewelry, even got Roy a red bowtie and here we are! Little did we know we would be out in front of the Episcopal Church. I myself was raised in that church, but Roy, he was raised Methodist. Oh, he groused a bit but really, "What's the point', I said........What, you say you don't have time to hear this and need to move on to the next story. Well, OK, I know how it is for you people, always rushing around. Really, you need to take it slow. As my great uncle Mortimer used to say........."
These turtles will be auctioned off at our live AbZOOlutely Auction on November 18.
Bidders need not be present at the live auction to win. Bids can be left with the AbZOOlutely staff up until 5:00 pm on November 17.
Click here for information on placing an absentee bid
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